Finding Joy in Change

Good morning Change Heroines.  Today I am reflecting on how every circumstance we find ourself in is an opportunity to touch someone's life for the better.  I am not on a journey towards self-realization.  I am on a journey to know more about who I am in Christ Jesus.  Every situation we encounter is a mirror.  Did we focus on ourselves or others?  There are no positives or negatives. There are just changes.  Professionals talk about the four quadrants of change. Denial, Anger, Bargaining and Acceptance.  There are actually many other models - this is a simple one by Kubler-Ross used in dealing with Grief.  However any change, positive or negative theorists predict most people will spend time in each of these quadrants.

If change is an inevitable part of our life than we can only seek to react as our Lord reacts.  We are called to be joyful in all circumstances - all situations.  When a door closes we can rejoice knowing that eventually another door will open because God wants good things for His people.  

Can you rejoice in knowing that God is working in and through you and others involved in the change to teach you humility, compassion, gratitude, and His strength in your weakness?  Can you rejoice knowing that there is no one to blame?   Blame is a part of our humanness, while acceptance and love are characteristics of the Spirit that dwells in us.  Can we set aside ego, pride and our anger at injustice to reach acceptance immediately?  Can we not live in the past and hold onto our anger, bitterness and confusion?  Can we accept our own responsibility in the situation and look towards a path that does not condemn but seeks to do what is right for the common good?

I believe that we can - not in our strength - but in His.  

In our lives we will be faced with many obstacles and change.  Despair, unhappiness, anger are all emotional reactions.  We can bring our emotions into check through regular prayer and regular submission of our personal interests.  They say that nice guys finish last - but I believe that there is no last or first - there is only acceptance of our future knowing that God has his hand on us and knows what is best.

What about today?  Is there something you hold on to that robs your joy?  Do you harbor feelings of anger or bitterness that you know stops you from allowing yourself to accept, love and forgive?  If there is....go to prayer. Humble yourself. Take your eyes off yourself and your circumstances and put them on God.  Let Him rule your emotions and your reactions.  You will find that it is possible to live in peace as the currents push and pull you.  Look for the beauty in the outcome.  It is there.  Seek and ye shall find.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

**Cathy is a speaker, writer, worship leader and available for speaking engagements.  Contact her at cwoolaway@yahoo.com or 217 521 2070.

"I'm from Kansas. That's about as American as it gets."

Good morning Change Heroines.  I apologize for being gone so long.  I spent the last 16 days in Kansas and Missouri visiting family and pursuing a dream.

Not much had changed back home.  Most everyone lived in the same place, had the same job, spent their time in the same pursuits.  They (my family) were at peace and living their lives by their calendars.  I was the one who had changed.  I was no longer the same person I had been the last eleven years.  I was unemployed for the first time in 21 years. Actually longer if you don't count a short 3 month stint in between two jobs.  My income had changed.  I could no longer afford to spend the money I once did.  I was the same person...but had changed circumstances.

At first I did struggle with ego and pride.  I did not want to admit that I was challenged financially.  What I discovered though was the more I had to admit to others and myself that I could not do certain things because of the cost (eating out, attending entertainments etc.) the more opportunities I found to dialogue and enjoy the companionship offered in simple, free opportunities.  For example...I window shopped without feeling the desire to purchase and had a great time doing it!  Instead of ZipLining in Branson for the "experience" I put myself out in front of professional directors/choreographers/vocal coaches, and TRIED OUT for a professional musical!!  Talk about feeling like you are jumping off a ledge!  Try that sometime and see if your knees don't knock a bit.  It's better than any roller coaster or zip line...and it is FREE!  I walked among gardens with my mother and little girl Maggie Rose (my yorkie)...FREE.  I viewed art on First Friday in downtown KC - FREE!  I enjoyed a family get together....FREE!  I watched fireworks from the top of a Loft in downtown KC.  FREE!  I challenged myself to play in a competitive duplicate bridge tournament having never played duplicate and having only played bridge once in the last ten years.  FREE!  I listened to one of the best jazz bassist and best jazz pianists ever front and center in the most wonderful retro 40's lounge imaginable....FREE!

What I discovered on my 16 day vacation was that it is true about money - it does not buy happiness.  The lack of finances does not determine who you are or who you serve.  

Life itself is the gift.  Money is a bonus.  Don't let money be the gift.  And don't let money determine who you are or who you serve.

Change heroines - I came back from Kansas lighter, brighter and ready to move forward.  The change of scenery, the love of family and friends and living with a different perspective with finances allowed me to heal and to find my self again.

When you are faced with crippling change....change your scenery, change your habits, challenge yourself and watch how beautifully your wings heal and recover.  Then fly girl...FLY!!!  

 . . . choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve . . . —Joshua 24:15

**Cathy is a professional speaker, writer, worship leader and story teller/dramatist.  You may contact her for speaking engagements at cwoolaway@yahoo.com or 217 521 2070.

A Change in Scenery

A Change of Scenery.

One of the biggest helps when you are going through change and seeking your blissful self is a change of scenery.  One of the ideas I had been toying with when I left my ministry was to create inspirational getaways aimed at women of all ages that just need a time to Pray.Love.Forgive in a tranquil and different setting.

Ruby Slippers Ministry is seeking ideas from ladies who may need a three day holiday.  Where we are peaceful, prayerful, with a jolt of fun, friendship and nature.

Here are some ideas:

Bed & Breakfast Getaway - 2 Nights 3 Days.  Features (Women Only)

FLOAT TRIP (Start the day with a great breakfast at your B & B. Spend some time in prayer, singing, team building.  Head to the River for a 6 hour Float Trip complete with stop for pictures/lunch.  Overnight at the Inn with a fabulous dinner.  Retire to the outdoors for more prayer, discussion about the day, and time for letting go of unforgiveness.  Rest of the evening at a bonfire, movie watch, snack swap and cards/games.
**You will also receive a 66 day journal to help you follow your change plan.

ZIP LINE (Southern Illinois Shawnee National Forrest.)  Travel as group or individual to your accommodations which can be an actual tree house for two or a log cabin 4 - 8 people.  That night enjoy steaks and corn on the grill, s'mores and a time of prayer, friendship, team loving and gal chat around the open fire.  The next morning we ll head out for breakfast before Zip Lining through the beautiful Forrest.  That night we ll enjoy another evening of dinner, fellowship and guided prayer on Love and Forgiveness.  Sunday morning after breakfast and "church" around the campfire we'll head home with our Memory Books filled with action plans.

RELAX AND RENEW  A spa hotel is the location for this gals getaway.  We travel together or individually to one of the premiere spas in Illinois.  You will have the chance to chose from a variety of spa specials including, massage, facials, mani/pedi, exfoliating and more.  After our relaxing day we will meet for a five star meal.  After a break we will gather to work through our pray, love forgive study.  The next morning we will have breakfast and one more chance to sit down with our journals and discuss before a final prayer and anointing service.

Costs are based on single or double occupancy and the number of ladies interested in going.  I can get you many more details if you are considering a gals getaway.  Send me a comment below - or e mail me at cwoolaway@yahoo.com


ABOUT YOUR TOUR OPERATOR:

Cathy is a worship pastor and Elder with the Church of the Nazarene.  She has over 15 years experience with group tours and travel both domestic and abroad.  Her unique study Pray.Love.Forgive is geared to ladies/young women.  Her goal is to draw closer to each other and to God while on the trip.  Bliss would be a good word to describe your experience (mixed in with a little excitement).  She will follow up via her website with each participant to assist with further action plans for change.

Cathy writes,  "It has always been the desire of my heart to draw women together in unique settings to allow them a space to explore spiritually, physically and emotionally.  Ruby Slippers Ministry is a vision that God has placed on my heart.  I hope you will consider going on one of these life-changing trips."

Good morning change heroines.  I have been thinking about what has power over us.  What is it that we need to change that has power over us?  Is there something in your life that takes precedence over anything else in your life?  Does your past hold power over you?  The abuse that you cannot seem to forgive and move on with?  Does that hold so much power over you that everything else you do in life is influenced by that past?  Does low self-esteem hold power over you?  You may have dreams but you discard them due to the power your low self esteem has over you? What about the power addictions like nicotine, sugar, caffeince, alcohal?  And what is an addiction?  Addiction is by definition "the continued use of a mood altering substance or behavior despite adverse consequences,or a neurological impairment leading to such behaviors."

We are all born with a need to feel good.  I am no psychotherapist and don't pretend to understand the various ways we make ourselves feel better.  I do believe that these things can have power over us.  We were created with brains that sort out and function every thought we have.  Every desire we feel. They say that exercise creates the endorphins the feel good of all feel good chemicals naturally released in our brains.  If that is true - then why don't we all tap into that feel good chemical regularly?  Because we have not been conditioned to? Or because we find alternatives that are not so great for us?  The Bible teaches us that everything was given to us to be used by us and that it is good for us.  Does that mean that caffiene might be good for us?  Studies show that caffeine in forms and moderation actually can be good for you.  The Bible also teaches about moderation.  If by denying yourself something because you have been told it is "bad, or immorrall" then subjecting yourself to guilt and low self esteem if you "slip?"  Not a healthy way to live.  Change requires that we reverse our habits and our thinking.  It takes 66 days to begin to kick a habit.  66 days of doing the opposite of what your mind,body is sucking you into.  Can you go 66 days change heroines?  Can you go 66 days without your crutch whatever that might be?  

If you want to take the journey - I will put on my Ruby Slippers and go with you.  E mail me at cwoolaway@yahoo.com and I will walk beside you every day for 66 days and help you begin to change the things that have power over you.  Til then....stay strong, don't give up and remember that each moment we are born anew.

Cathy

Change the Way You View Yourself - Vocations

Every now and then a change so radical comes into your life that it forces you to re-examine who you are and what contributions you make in life.  It could be a death, it could be a health scare, it could be the loss of  a relationship, loss of a job you loved, loss of your home, a pet or some other change that occurs that radically tips your world upside down.  When these kinds of changes happen to you whether intentional or non-intentional it can cause you to re-evaluate everything in your life.   Suddenly who you were, wife, mother, daughter, co-worker, director, pet-owner, home owner you are no longer.  Each day you wake up and think - I was "this" and now I am "that".  Your entire world is rocked.  You identified yourself in a certain way and with certain tasks and things that you did daily.  Now those things are gone.  You question yourself.  Why?  You get mad. You think about the future.  What should be my next step?  Days don't stop. They continue on.  The sun comes up the sun goes down and the nights get long.  You don't want to reach out because you don't want to be a "downer" to friends, family.  You might be ashamed.  You might be too ill.  Whatever the change is, it can overwhelm your spirit which in turn can cause stress which impacts your physical and emotional state.  Your immune system weakens leaving you susceptible to illness you never had before.  You turn to things that dull the pain for a little while - but the next day it is still there.  The fear of losing what you had.

At times like these there are some important things you should do for yourself.

1.  Accept the change.  Each day plan to do something to move forward.  That might be calling friends for a get together.  Writing notes to loved ones, e mail or otherwise.  Each day and night say to yourself, "This is what I did (or had) but that chapter is over and I must turn the page to the next chapter in my life.

2.  Look for the blessings in your life.  Count them - all of them.  Take out a sheet of paper or whatever you use you write and list them.  Remember that sometimes change happens to protect you from something or to lead you to a better future.  Remember that you were created uniquely for special purposes.  What is unique about you?  How can you use what you have been blessed with to be a blessing to others?

3.  Move!  Get out and walk.  Join a free or cheap exercise program.  Staying stagnate in your home is not good for your body.

4.  Find a support group to talk about your loss or change.  There are many people going through the same thing that you have just experienced.  Sometimes hearing other people talk about their loss can bring healing to you and to them.

5.  If there isn't a support group for what you have experienced - start one.  You can advertise free on social media, newspapers, flyers and television.

6.  Dream.  What is it you have always wanted to do but didn't have the time? Go back to school? Start a business? Learn to cook?  Begin to exercise? Organize your space? Read?  Make another list of all the things you have time to do now that you didn't before, narrow them down, start with the top and make a plan.

7.  Don't take your change out on other people.  I think we all know what we mean by that :-)

8.  Learn to love yourself and learn to love silence.  Being at peace with yourself in the change is important.  Find a special place where you are living that is just for you.  A chair, outside in the backyard.  Make it your oasis.  A place you can retreat to for prayer, meditation, writing, reading or just dreaming.

9.  Take a shower and dress yourself every single day.  Don't stay in your jammies (unless you have pre-arranged a "jammie" day.

10.  Get away,  Sometimes a change of scenery can make all the difference.  Plan a trip - even if you don't have money you can usually find someplace to go each day.  Pack a small lunch and take it to a park.  Take in a movie.  Drive to another town.  Garage sale.  Antique hunt.  See free concerts or plays or take in a local baseball game.

11.  Remember that you are not defined by what you do or what you have - you are defined by who you love and what you love to do.  Find your passion.  What makes your heart surge with joy?  If you are depressed it will be hard to find that joy.  Talk to your doctor, seek help for your emotional state.

Everyone's approach to dealing with change will be different.  It should be.  We were not created to be cookies cut exactly the same.  As a matter of fact, if you look closely at cookies that were cut out - most of them have slight (or in my case LARGE) differences.  An edge broke off here, a slight oblong to a round, more chips in one than another.  What makes you unique among all the cookies?  Find that piece of yourself and if it makes you happy and passionate - do something with it for yourself and for others.  Don't compare - you will never measure up to something you see in a magazine or on tv.  Don't imitate.  There is only one you.  Walk through every single door - even if it slams in your face - TRY!

Change-heroines, we are all in this together.  If you want to, send me a response at cwoolaway@yahoo.com.  I would love to encourage you!


**Cathy is a worship leader, speaker, preacher and agent of change.  Contact her for speaking engagements workshops or one on one encouragement**

Change Your View of Miracles

Monday was a strange day.  It started out ordinary enough.  Ran some errands, wrote, spent time in my galcave.  By 3 PM I was feeling tired,  More tired than usual.  I thought maybe I had spent to much time on the computer,  My eyes were fuzzy and I just didn't have any energy.  I laid down on the couch and turned on a comedy -elevated my feet and waited for the weird feeling to subside.  It didn't.  I text my friend about 30 minutes later with my symptoms.  Numb left arm, numb legs, chills and a headache.  Stroke symptoms.  By the time my husband got home to take me to the hospital, I couldn't walk by myself.  My speech was slurred and when we arrived at the emergency room I had no motion in any part of my body.  Very scary.  I was crying from fright.  I gave my husband funeral instructions.  And I saw the light.  The white light - just like people who are leaving this earth have testified about.  I was attracted to it.  I was not afraid of the light - I was afraid of what was happening to my body.  I checked off my list of loved ones to make sure that I felt good about where they were in their lives.  I was at peace if this was the end for me here.  And then it happened.  The Miracle.  The symptoms disappeared.  I fell asleep in the E.R. and when I woke up I felt like myself.  The hospital did a CT scan, an EKG, blood work and an ultrasound of the veins in my neck.  Nothing.
I was mad at myself.  I had over reacted.  I shouldn't have gone to the E.R. I had put people out - my husband, the nurses, the doctors.  I didn't want anyone to know what had happened.  Not my family not my friends - no one.  I had convinced myself that my stroke symptoms did not really exist.  I had imagined everything.
Tuesday I spent in the hospital.
Wednesday I resumed my routine.
I was reading about prayer.  I had committed the next 123 days to researching prayer and to be in prayer - commune with God.  And as I read Psalm 25 God spoke to me through that Scripture.

"Why do you want to hide what I do for you?"

Wow!  Great question God!  I was having a stroke, I saw light and I spoke the Name of Jesus and I was healed.  I thought about the many people that Jesus healed.  I began to wonder if there were those who were healed but shrugged it off as an over active imagination - or a bad bit of meat ( Dickens reference).  I believe that God is alive and active in my life.  So why would I choose to not believe in His Divine healing?  As a pastor I have prayed many times for people and believed that God touched and healed.  So why would He not do the same for the me?  Then it hit me.  I need to change the way I see miracles.

G.K. Chesterton (writer,poet, Christian apologetics)

“The believers in miracles accept them (rightly or wrongly) because they have evidence for them. The disbelievers in miracles deny them (rightly or wrongly) because they have a doctrine against them.”

I have evidence of what happened on Monday.  For me to make a choice to "hide" my miracle is as bad as denying Christ out-right.
 
As an agent of change - I choose to change the way I see circumstances and incidents.  I am changing my voice to active.  I am this day asking God to remove the scales from my eyes.  Scales of ignorance.  I wish to see and speak the Truth about the Lord.  He is a healing God and He has more for me to do.  Here is one commentary by Matthew Henry on Saul and the scales of his eyes.

9:10-22 A good work was begun in Saul, when he was brought to Christ's feet with those words, Lord, what wilt thou have me to do? And never did Christ leave any who were brought to that. Behold, the proud Pharisee, the unmerciful oppressor, the daring blasphemer, prayeth! And thus it is even now, and with the proud infidel, or the abandoned sinner. What happy tidings are these to all who understand the nature and power of prayer, of such prayer as the humbled sinner presents for the blessings of free salvation! Now he began to pray after another manner than he had done; before, he said his prayers, now, he prayed them. Regenerating grace sets people on praying; you may as well find a living man without breath, as a living Christian without prayer. Yet even eminent disciples, like Ananias, sometimes stagger at the commands of the Lord. But it is the Lord's glory to surpass our scanty expectations, and show that those are vessels of his mercy whom we are apt to consider as objects of his vengeance. The teaching of the Holy Spirit takes away the scales of ignorance and pride from the understanding; then the sinner becomes a new creature, and endeavours to recommend the anointed Saviour, the Son of God, to his former companions.

Join me and choose to ask God to remove your own scales in order to see Miracles and Truth.  And then proclaim it.  I don't believe Jesus just wants to heal us physically - I believe He wants us to change our view of circumstance.  God is at work - believe it.

*Cathy is a speaker,preacher,worship leader and available for your church or event.  Contact her through this website.

Changing our Moods.

Moods, moodiness, that blue feeling.  She's in a "mood."  Usually a negative word.  People who are moody are seen as "difficult", "unpredictable", "unstable."  Unfortunately people refer to creative people typically as "moody."  So how do we change being moody (assuming you don't want to be a person of moods).  First we must recognize that our moods come out as a result of our physical state of being.  Remember those mood rings that have been popular at different times over the years?  They change due to physical temperature.  When your temperature goes up or down - the color would change.  So our internal moods also change with our "temperature."  If we are overweight, inactive,eating unhealthy, dealing with an illness or chronic pain or anything that takes our focus and places it on our physical discomfort we may become "moody."  Discomfort causes moodiness.  How do we change that?  Some of us are so comfortable with our  physical pain that we go back to the same place of pain over and over and over - our mood is not comfortable but it is familiar enough that we keep going back to it.  We know that we should shake the mood by doing something different - by changing our physical climate - but the familiar pain is so much easier place to be than the challenge of change that we keep going back there.  People who cut themselves are a prime example.  Their moods start to slip and they cannot control their moody free fall - so they cut themselves in order to change their mood.  Woah!!  You would rather cut yourself which causes intense pain than pick yourself up by the scruff of the neck and shake off the mood through any healthy outlet?  Did you know that praying to God to remove a mood is not an answer?  You yourself have to shake it off!  Don't blame God that you are moody.  Blame yourself for not changing your physcial environment to shake off that mood.  Get a grip and stop wallowing people.  No one is going to do it for you.  You have to change your physical state to get out of a mood.  Here are some practical ways to shake off mood.

1.  Wear a snap bracelet and when you feel it coming on - snap your bracelet/rubber band etc.

2.  Literally shake your head several times to "clear it".  IF you are physically able, change locations.  Get out of your chair - office - couch - bed - and head to another location.

3.  Walk , run, plank, yoga, bike, any physical exercise will stop your mood.

4.  If you are not able to physically move because of age, disability etc. - write, read, listen to music, hum, sing, pray for someone, write a poem (it doesn't have to rhyme)

5.  Whatever your routine is?  Change it.  This is important.  If every morning you wake up, drink coffee, read the paper, go online, turn on tv, sit in the same chair - stop!!  Vary that routine if it is not working for you.  Wake up and go outside, eat an apple first, drink water, fix a smoothie, do your weekly shopping, bike, hike, whatever....just don't go back to the same physical space that causes you to be in a mood.

6.  Love yourself.  Yep - it is okay to do that.  God loves you warts and all - so if He can love you - then shake off your mood and love yourself.  How do you love yourself?  Make a list of things that make you feel loved and do them!  If you don't feel loved right now start with something simple - hug yourself.  Look in the mirror and tell yourself you are loved.  Brush your hair slowly and for longer than 30 seconds.  Make a list of all the great things people have said to you (and people have said good things about you...so shake it off and remember them).  Buy yourself a flower, or a chocolate or if you can afford it and like them - shoes!  Dance with yourself.  And if nothing else works - try a mantra along with your snap bracelet - God loves me and I love myself.  Over and over and over - until you shake that mood.

To change a mood you gotta shake yourself up - dust yourself off - and literally take it off like a coat.

You can go to prayer for many many things - but to ask God to change your mood? Nope.  I read this morning in my devotion with Oswald Chambers.  He writes--

There are certain things in life that we need not pray about— moods, for instance. We will never get rid of moodiness by praying, but we will by kicking it out of our lives. Moods nearly always are rooted in some physical circumstance, not in our true inner self. It is a continual struggle not to listen to the moods which arise as a result of our physical condition, but we must never submit to them for a second. We have to pick ourselves up by the back of the neck and shake ourselves; then we will find that we can do what we believed we were unable to do. The problem that most of us are cursed with is simply that we won’t. The Christian life is one of spiritual courage and determination lived out in our flesh.

I have a friend who is under going cancer treatments.  She calls them her butt-kicking sessions.  I love that!  She definitely has every reason to be moody - but instead she recognizes the truth - that moods need to be kicked out and don't blame satan or anything else for your mood - take responsibility and change it.

Let me know about your own mood kicking tricks.

Cathy Woolaway is available for speaking and worship engagements.  Contact her through this blog or at cwoolaway@yahoo.com