A Change in Your Secret Place.

Good afternoon Change Heroines.  I haven't been blogging back to back recently but today I received a message that was so clear and made so much sense to me that I had to share it.  I call it my "well DUH" ah ha moment.

During my transition period (between paying jobs and seeking God's BEST for my life) I have been challenged to change habits.  These are things in my life that are not necessarily sinful but at the same time I feel checked to stop them.

First of all, I have had a lot of bad habits in my life.  One of them that started early for me was the habit of chewing my nails.  I discovered that I inherited a high A personality which over the years caused me to deal with anxiety in a myriad of ways.  The first that I can remember is chewing my nails. When I became a teen I discovered that the nicotine in cigarettes would calm my nerves.  Throughout the years of my life I have used various outlets to deal with anxiety that comes from a driven personality.  One by one I have changed these habits only to pick up something else to replace it.  My nails today are long and need regular manicures.  I quit smoking years ago.  But even in my mid life I continued to have habits.  Not terrible things, but certainly not things that are the best for me.

Because of the transition I am in right now I find that I have more time than usual to do what I want.  There is no one to put demands on me and I spend days writing (which can be a lonely profession I am discovering.) I still have a driven personality and have times where I deal with anxiety.  Today I had a moment like that and I started to think about ways I could calm myself.  Exercise, eat, write.....and escape.  I'm not comfortable staying in one place for long.  The house can become very small very quickly and my need to drive something (lead, direct, etc.) was weighing on me.  I could have gone shopping.  That is something I think alot of us women do.  We shop out of boredom, or a need for something new, or a need to jolt ourselves out of our mood.  You may have something else.  I know alot of women who read habitually, or watch television habitually, or turn to other negative ways to deal with anxiety.  And many of us do it on the sly.  We don't want anyone to know.  We hide it - it is something only done in the privacy of our home or car or somewhere we won't be recognized.

Those of us that are married, or those who have been married or have a committed partner would not dream of cheating.  Today I was thinking about things that people do in private.  We are never in private really.  God sees everything and knows every thought.  There are habits we have that are not pleasing to Him.  There are habits that allow us an escape from who we are in Christ that must be banished.  I would not dream of cheating on my husband - and yet I cheat my God every time I choose something that I know is not good for me.  Trash tv, trash novels, trash internet, eating, self obsession.  I cheat God every time I use my time talent and treasure for anything other than proclaiming His Name or serving others in His Name.  We reconcile this cheating by saying "Well I just spent all this time on this project or that project and now I will take a little me time." But what we are really saying is that I will take a little escape from Jesus.

If we are to be Christ-like disciples, then we are to model ourselves after Christ.  Paul said "I take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. " 2 Cor. 4-5

 Here are some examples of how God thinks, and how we allow ourselves to think.

**What forms our thoughts? Take a look below at the differences between God's thoughts

(fruit of the spirit) and the devil's thoughts (opposite).

.

	GOD's Thoughts	DEVIL's Thoughts
	Truth	Lies, Negative, dishonesty, lying, deception
	Honest	Dishonest, secretive, controller, manipulative, gossip
	Pure	Unclean, sinful, filthy
	Just	Victimized, distrusting, comparison, self-righteousness, questioning God
	Lovely	Ugly, Self-hatred, hardness, unloving
	Good Report	Gossip, slander, judgment, criticism, filthy communicaton, blasphemy, wrath, malice, anger
	Virtuous	Cowardly, proudful
	Praise	Unthankful, unbelieving

**Borrowed from Life Application Ministries  shttp://www.mindsync.com/lam/Session8.htm

When we do anything in secret we are cheating God.  There is only one thing that God declares we should do in secret. "Pray to your Father who is in the secret place, and every public thing in your life will be marked with the lasting imprint of the presence of God." (Oswald Chambers)

If we do anything in secret that we would not want others to see - we are cheating and cheating dishonors God and discredits our life as a Christian.

Dearest Heroines - don't allow the trauma of change in your life to drive you to secret things.  Remember that you can overcome through the power of the Holy Spirit and He will allow you to break that secret habit that robs you of your best life in Him.

Don't allow change to give you permission to do those things that you should not be doing.  Don't waste your life in old habits.  Let God have His way in your transition and make every moment count for Him.  When you need to retreat for rest - do that.  Rest.  Go to prayer in your secret place and God will reward you in secret.  

**Cathy is a professional writer, speaker and worship leader.  You may contact her at cwoolaway@yahoo.com or at 217.521.2070.

The Mystery of Clouds

Good morning Change Heroines.  Today God gave me the coolest reminder of His personal desire for us.  It is from the Old Testament the book of Nahum in its first chapter especially at the third verse.  "and the clouds are the dust of His feet."Nah 1:3

Why must we look at clouds of darkness as something to be feared?  Oftentimes in the period of change that we experience we fear the clouds because they obscure the future to us.  We must continually look back.  "Why did this relationship fail?"  "Why did this job end?"  "Why was my home taken from me?"  "Why did I lose my loved one?" "Why?Why?Why?"  A good way to approach these questions is to keep looking back to try and uncover what it was that caused the clouds to appear.  Was it something in my upbringing; was it something in my personality; was it stress I experienced; was it the wrong crowd I ran with.  Looking back I suppose can be of some use to a person.  But in the wife of Lot's case - her lack of faith for the future caused her to become a pillar of salt.  Worth nothing and easily washed away when the clouds break through and the rain finally comes.  We can spend so much time asking why that we miss the great mystery in the clouds.  

If clouds are indeed the dust of His feet there are two things to remember in faith.  One is that when you are covered in dust that means that you are near the One that created it.  Think of it!  Those clouds that seem to follow you around are actually God's feet drawing near to you and covering you. Two - if the clouds as magnificent as they are are only the DUST of His feet - not even His FEET - how great how powerful must that make our God?  Could He lift the clouds? Of course He could.  So why doesn't He?  He desires that we believe in Him by faith - not by sight and not by our own understanding through books and google searches.  Certainly not in our own questioning, looking back or understanding.  God is a God of mystery and the sooner we accept that our minds can never conceive of His greatness or the clouds He puts in our lives the more we will become childlike people of faith.  Accepting the clouds and rejoicing that God who is so awesome would care enough about our mere life as to bring a cloud to teach us, to prepare us, to purify us and to ultimately bring us along to a holy and righteous path embodied by Jesus Christ Himself the second person of God.

I like this quote from Rev. Spurgeon circa 1855:

"He always does rightly; and therefore, he wants his people always to believe that he does rightly. But if he showed them that he did so, there would be no room for their faith."

Change heroines - don't become a pillar of salt.  Don't over-analyze and say "Oh this cloud is here because of this situation or that situation."  Love the cloud that provides comfort knowing that He is near to you, that He wants what is best for you, that He will purify you, and that rejoicing in the darkness is a sure way to find the everlasting Light.

**Cathy is a writer, speaker and worship leader.  For engagements contact her at 217.521.2070 or e mail at cwoolaway@yahoo.com

Hot flash!

The weather is changing in Illinois.  It is 62 degrees this morning and the open windows bring a breath of fresh air to the house.  This is welcome change from the stifling heat and the humidity that bogs us down, keeps us inside and makes us less active.

Heat as an element melts things.  Without heat we would not experience the beauty of blown glass or beautiful pottery or the smell of a lovely candle.  Heat purifies elements.  It reduces the impurities in silver and gold.  Heat eliminates.

Sometimes we find ourselves in heat.  It is uncomfortable.  It stagnates us.  We become clumsy and forgetful and we chase our tails only to find we are back in the same place as before.  Heat when we are in it seems unbearable.  Heat destroys us.  It pulverizes our spirit.

Understanding how God uses heat in our lives gives us greater understanding into who He is and who we are in comparison to Him.  Remember, when God created us He called us good.  We were meant for good and we all have the capacity for good.  When God gives us heat, or allows us to go through the heat what He is really doing is perfecting us by strengthening us.  We struggle in the heat and learn what it is that is not best for us in our lives.  The heat forces us to let go of all control and our impurities float to the top.  Those things which God wants out of our lives.  We will stay in the heat until we release the hold on that impurity that is hampering our beauty.  God in His mercy brings us through the heat and we are tested to see if our spirit is clean and pure.  If it is not, if we are holding on to impurities or we somehow replace the old with a new impurity, we will go through the fire yet again and again and again.

God does not give up on those who desire to be His disciples BUT you must be willing to go through the cleansing heat as He chooses.

Embrace the heat in your life.  Know that it is for your BEST and that through the fire again and again ultimately God is creating a perfect vessel that can be used for many purposes for His Kingdom.

Change heroines.....the temperature will change to a beautiful 62 degrees when we let go of our impurities and allow them to rise up and out of our lives.

***Cathy is a professional writer, speaker and worship leader.  Contact her for engagements at 217 521 2070 or at cwoolaway@yahoo.com

Rogene's Transition

Good morning sweet Heroines.  My dear sister in law Teddie lost her mother to Alzheimers early this morning.  She was a dear woman, always caring for her children and grandchildren and husband.  She worked hard, she loved hard, she fought hard against her disease and today she is finally at peace.

They say the grief when we lose someone, comes because that person had a piece of our heart, our soul and without their physical presence we feel loss, out of control and grieve.  One thing to keep in mind and to help keep us sane during this time in transition is that though our loved one is gone physically it does not mean they are gone from our lives.  The memories that we hold in our heart will always be there for us in pictures in remembrances in familiar places and spaces in the faces of our children and our other relatives.  A little piece of our heart has been torn out...but God in His mercy understands everything about us.  He knew we would grieve when our loved ones moved on in their spirit.  He knew we would feel their earthly loss. And so He gently reminds us to seek Him, the God who created us all is welcoming our loved one into His glory.  A place where pain and confusion do not exist.  We have in a sense retired our souls when we reach heaven.  And this retirement, unlike an earthly retirement, is truly a place of rest and happiness.  When God made us, He made us and called us "good."  He knew all about us from the beginning to the end. And He is especially gracious and merciful to those who suffer in this life.  Have no doubts, worry not about the after-life of your loved one and be assured that it is a place of so great beauty that we cannot grasp it in our earthly minds until we experience it for ourselves.  Even those who claim to have seen heaven have only caught a glimpse.  Your loved ones spirit will be with you, not as an angel, but as a whisper, a glance, a shadow to let you know that all is well and you need not worry.  God has it all under control.

"All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us. We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort—we get a full measure of that, too."

My prayer for Teddie, John, Heather, Matt and Mark.  
       "I pray that God who knows all about us and loves us will comfort each of you today in the complete understanding that your loved one Rogene is in better Hands now.  Completely whole, completely coherent and completely restored.  Her spirit life will live on for eternity with Me and one day you too will join her and be restored.  So there is no reason to fear death....death is the most beautiful part of life.  The place our spirit resides when we have lived and loved on earth.  That love will never diminish but only complete itself with Me and be at peace waiting to see you and be united with you all.  Be at peace loved ones....the end is not the end."

Love,  Cathy

Are you satisfied with your cocoon? Change is hard!

Good morning Change Heroines!  It's HOT isn't it?  At least where I am in Illinois.  I am looking forward to a CHANGE in the weather!

Do any of you find yourself constantly struggling?  It may be that like the butterfly in the cocoon you have to fight your way through the transition in order to come out more beautiful on the other side?  If we stop struggling to transition into our more beautiful self we will end up dying in our cocoon.  Some are content with this.  They have struggled for so long to get to the beauty that they grow weary, curl up, isolate and live in the comfort of the cocoon.  

There is a strong human inclination to give up in transition.  To say to yourself, "I'm not good enough," "I'm not strong enough," and to settle for the good rather than the BEST.  The good is a cocoon that may be comfortable but is not excellent.  Henry David Thoreau wrote that "the mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation."

Change Heroines - do not succumb to a life that is not God's best for you.  Here is an exercise that I have found helpful when the cocoon seems more pleasurable than the struggle for beauty and freedom.

Grab a pen and a piece of paper or open an app. (Evernote is a good one) and make two columns.  One is what is positive about you and one is what is negative about you.  9 times out of 10 you will want to start with the negative column.  That is who we are dear friends.  But resist!  Start with the positive column.  Even if you have to start simply.  "I make good coffee."  "I am a mother" "I love music" "I exercise"  whatever it might be - make sure your positive column has at least ten things in it before you start to put anything in the negative side.  Here is what you will find dear Heroines.  You will feel so good about who you are that the negative will disappear.  TRULY!!

A trick of the mind?  Or a reminder of the beauty that God has planted inside each one of us?  God wants us to struggle dear hearts.  In our struggle out of our cocoon is where we will find God's best and our most beautiful selves.

Be beautiful today.  And share your list with me.  I would love to read it !!

**Cathy is a speaker, writer, worship leader and in her positive list today she wrote:educated, friendly, communicator, creative, writer,mother,wife,sister,daughter,disciple,servant to Jesus, lover of music, lover of flowers and nature, decorator and overcomer.

In Transition - Beware of the Good and Wait on the Best.

Good evening Change Heroines.  How are you doing in your transition?  Do you find yourself anxious, emotionally defeated, tired, depressed, confused and unfocused?  That' is where I have found myself lately.  Unfocused.  

Have you ever jumped at the good thing instead of waiting for the best thing?  We women are good at that.  Alot of us are "fixers."  We hear of a need and we jump in wanting to make it all better.  It's good works and it makes you feel better about your situation knowing that you are helping someone else and that you are significant in someone's life.  But if you re-read that last paragraph - in times of transition good is about you and your rights....best is about God and His direction.  

Busy people don't do well in the waiting.  Impatience, feelings of insignificance, the need to be needed...these feelings lead us to jump in and be a "do-gooder."  In my transition period I have been doing this.  Jumping at the need.  In my last two nights of deep prayer with my husband seeking God's direction I was slapped in the face with three invitations to jump in that I had to end because although they were good things - they were not God's direction for us.  I feel like a flake....having to back out of something that I committed to.  I know that in God's power He will bless all parties.  I would have been a stumbling block to these good things....not a blessing and certainly not anointed.

I write all these things to help remind us dear friends to beware of our right to choose.  God has the best for us - for all of us.  Beware of getting desperate, beware of needing to feel needed.  Stay on your face before God and He will lead and guide You towards the best for the Kingdom.

If you take the left, then I will go to the right; or, if you go to the right, then I will go to the left —Genesis 13:9

**Cathy is a speaker, writer, dramatist and worship leader.  She is available for engagements by calling 217 521 2070 or at cwoolaway@yahoo.com.

Looking Beyond Yourself during Times of Transition.

It's Friday afternoon Change Heroines, and before I get ready to meet friends for dinner I thought I would post a quick blog about when we are in the middle of change.  Many years ago I worked as a marketing director for the longest running dinner theatre in the country.  I loved my job - but I will admit - I was also getting a bit bored with it.  A new boss came in, he wanted his boyfriend to have the job, and I was----well O.U.T. 

It was a time much like today when there were lots of people looking for jobs and lots of folks who had lost jobs.  I sat on my bum for a few weeks filling out applications and getting frustrated with my lack of success - and I thought "I have GOT to be doing something to help others who are in my same situation." So I started a weeknight group for those who had lost jobs.  We talked resumes and job possibilities, but mostly, we just talked about how we felt to be let go - how we felt to be unemployed - etc. etc. etc.  And we prayed for each other and for the families affected and we helped each other the best we could.

Some of the greatest ideas, works of art, music, books etc. have all been accomplished by people going through major change.  Change forces us to get creative.  Change forces us to reach out to others for help.  Change forces us to re-establish relationships.

During this most recent change for me, I remembered way back when I began the support group for unemployed people.  I remembered the lessons of taking my eyes off myself and giving to others.  As a result, I will start leading worship at a small church in Bloomington with a congregation of 20 something and a single female pastor.  There are no musicians, no praise team, no choir, no sound tech, no media person.  There is a single female pastor and twenty or so people who want to worship on Sunday morning and they need someone to lead them.

I could have said "No. The drive is too long. I have to be paid. Yada, yada, yada," but instead I remembered what a seasoned director once told me "there are no small parts....only small actors."

I don't want to be a small actor Change Heroines - and neither do you.  Everyone has a part whether it is  big, small or otherwise.  God has called us to use our gifts and talents where He sees fit, not where we see fit.  Humility, service, willingness and obedience.

While you are in the middle of your change....be a change heroine for someone else :-)

Blessings in your transition.

**Cathy is a writer, speaker and worship leader.  Contact her for speaking engagements at cwoolaway@yahoo.com or at 217 521 2070.

Finding Joy in Change

Good morning Change Heroines.  Today I am reflecting on how every circumstance we find ourself in is an opportunity to touch someone's life for the better.  I am not on a journey towards self-realization.  I am on a journey to know more about who I am in Christ Jesus.  Every situation we encounter is a mirror.  Did we focus on ourselves or others?  There are no positives or negatives. There are just changes.  Professionals talk about the four quadrants of change. Denial, Anger, Bargaining and Acceptance.  There are actually many other models - this is a simple one by Kubler-Ross used in dealing with Grief.  However any change, positive or negative theorists predict most people will spend time in each of these quadrants.

If change is an inevitable part of our life than we can only seek to react as our Lord reacts.  We are called to be joyful in all circumstances - all situations.  When a door closes we can rejoice knowing that eventually another door will open because God wants good things for His people.  

Can you rejoice in knowing that God is working in and through you and others involved in the change to teach you humility, compassion, gratitude, and His strength in your weakness?  Can you rejoice knowing that there is no one to blame?   Blame is a part of our humanness, while acceptance and love are characteristics of the Spirit that dwells in us.  Can we set aside ego, pride and our anger at injustice to reach acceptance immediately?  Can we not live in the past and hold onto our anger, bitterness and confusion?  Can we accept our own responsibility in the situation and look towards a path that does not condemn but seeks to do what is right for the common good?

I believe that we can - not in our strength - but in His.  

In our lives we will be faced with many obstacles and change.  Despair, unhappiness, anger are all emotional reactions.  We can bring our emotions into check through regular prayer and regular submission of our personal interests.  They say that nice guys finish last - but I believe that there is no last or first - there is only acceptance of our future knowing that God has his hand on us and knows what is best.

What about today?  Is there something you hold on to that robs your joy?  Do you harbor feelings of anger or bitterness that you know stops you from allowing yourself to accept, love and forgive?  If there is....go to prayer. Humble yourself. Take your eyes off yourself and your circumstances and put them on God.  Let Him rule your emotions and your reactions.  You will find that it is possible to live in peace as the currents push and pull you.  Look for the beauty in the outcome.  It is there.  Seek and ye shall find.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

**Cathy is a speaker, writer, worship leader and available for speaking engagements.  Contact her at cwoolaway@yahoo.com or 217 521 2070.

"I'm from Kansas. That's about as American as it gets."

Good morning Change Heroines.  I apologize for being gone so long.  I spent the last 16 days in Kansas and Missouri visiting family and pursuing a dream.

Not much had changed back home.  Most everyone lived in the same place, had the same job, spent their time in the same pursuits.  They (my family) were at peace and living their lives by their calendars.  I was the one who had changed.  I was no longer the same person I had been the last eleven years.  I was unemployed for the first time in 21 years. Actually longer if you don't count a short 3 month stint in between two jobs.  My income had changed.  I could no longer afford to spend the money I once did.  I was the same person...but had changed circumstances.

At first I did struggle with ego and pride.  I did not want to admit that I was challenged financially.  What I discovered though was the more I had to admit to others and myself that I could not do certain things because of the cost (eating out, attending entertainments etc.) the more opportunities I found to dialogue and enjoy the companionship offered in simple, free opportunities.  For example...I window shopped without feeling the desire to purchase and had a great time doing it!  Instead of ZipLining in Branson for the "experience" I put myself out in front of professional directors/choreographers/vocal coaches, and TRIED OUT for a professional musical!!  Talk about feeling like you are jumping off a ledge!  Try that sometime and see if your knees don't knock a bit.  It's better than any roller coaster or zip line...and it is FREE!  I walked among gardens with my mother and little girl Maggie Rose (my yorkie)...FREE.  I viewed art on First Friday in downtown KC - FREE!  I enjoyed a family get together....FREE!  I watched fireworks from the top of a Loft in downtown KC.  FREE!  I challenged myself to play in a competitive duplicate bridge tournament having never played duplicate and having only played bridge once in the last ten years.  FREE!  I listened to one of the best jazz bassist and best jazz pianists ever front and center in the most wonderful retro 40's lounge imaginable....FREE!

What I discovered on my 16 day vacation was that it is true about money - it does not buy happiness.  The lack of finances does not determine who you are or who you serve.  

Life itself is the gift.  Money is a bonus.  Don't let money be the gift.  And don't let money determine who you are or who you serve.

Change heroines - I came back from Kansas lighter, brighter and ready to move forward.  The change of scenery, the love of family and friends and living with a different perspective with finances allowed me to heal and to find my self again.

When you are faced with crippling change....change your scenery, change your habits, challenge yourself and watch how beautifully your wings heal and recover.  Then fly girl...FLY!!!  

 . . . choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve . . . —Joshua 24:15

**Cathy is a professional speaker, writer, worship leader and story teller/dramatist.  You may contact her for speaking engagements at cwoolaway@yahoo.com or 217 521 2070.